Welcome to another edition of domain roasting! Today, we’re tearing into a massive portfolio of over 700 domains listed on Namepros.com by a seller named Brands. The thread title screams “700+ Ultra Premium Names – Many TLDs taken- Liquidation!” but the drastic price drop from $40,000 to $9,999 per name raises a big red flag. Liquidation? More like desperation! Let’s evaluate this portfolio, roast the weak links, and hunt for any hidden gems.
We’ll break down the portfolio into key categories, rate the domains using our 5-trash-can system (1 trash can = decent, 5 trash cans = dumpster fire), and sprinkle in some humor to keep things spicy. Whether you’re a domain investor or just here for the laughs, this post has you covered.
The Portfolio at a Glance: Quantity Over Quality?
With over 700 domains, Brands’ (Namepros VIP member / Gold Account / Membership fee: $10 per month) portfolio is a sprawling mess of TLDs and themes, ranging from AI and tech to agent-related names, billion/trillion hype, industry-specific terms, and quirky creative picks. The seller claims these are “ultra premium,” but the price slash tells a different story. Spoiler alert: most of these domains don’t live up to the hype. Let’s dive in and separate the wheat from the chaff.
AI and Tech Domains: Some Sparks, Mostly Duds
AI and tech are hot niches, and Brands has loaded up on domains to capitalize on the trend. But do they deliver? Let’s see.
The Good
- 1money.ai (2 Trash Cans): Short, snappy, and uses the trendy .ai TLD. It’s got potential for a fintech or AI-driven money app. Not a home run, but it’s playable.
- aigrant.ai (2 Trash Cans): Combines “AI” and “grant” in a clear, niche way. Could work for an AI funding platform. Solid, not spectacular.
The Bad
- 3db.ai (4 Trash Cans): What’s “3db”? 3D tech? Databases? It’s a vague mess, even with the .ai TLD. Pass.
- artificialavatars.com (4 Trash Cans): Long, clunky, and sounds like a rejected sci-fi movie title. It’s descriptive, not brandable.
The Ugly
- automatei.com (5 Trash Cans): A forced twist on “automate” with an extra “i.” It’s like a typo pretending to be clever. No one’s searching for this.
Roast Verdict: Brands’ AI and tech domains are a mixed bag. A few like 1money.ai have potential, but most are either too vague or too awkward to justify $9,999. If you’re investing in AI domains, stick to short and clear names—skip the rest.
Agent Domains: An Obsession Gone Wrong
Brands has an unhealthy fixation on the word “agent,” with dozens of domains like agent.accountants and agenttt.com. Quantity doesn’t equal quality here.
The Good
- agent.auction (2 Trash Cans): Clear and functional. Perfect for an auction platform with agent services. It’s a keeper.
- agents.gallery (3 Trash Cans): A stretch, but it could work for an art gallery representing agents. Niche, but not terrible.
The Bad
- agent.bh (4 Trash Cans): The .bh TLD (Bahrain) is obscure, and “agent” doesn’t pair with it naturally. It’s a head-scratcher.
- agenttt.com (4 Trash Cans): The extra “t” screams “I was a mistake.” It’s not clever—it’s a branding nightmare.
The Ugly
- agenticcc.com (5 Trash Cans): Triple “c”? This is a typo disaster waiting to happen. Hard to spell, impossible to love.
Roast Verdict: Brands’ agent obsession is a dumpster fire with a few flickers of hope. agent.auction shines, but most are forgettable or outright trash. If you’re buying, cherry-pick and run.
Billion/Trillion Domains: Big Talk, Small Walk
Brands loves slapping “billion” and “trillion” on everything, aiming for that wealthy vibe. But do these domains deliver value or just hot air?
The Good
- billion.auction (2 Trash Cans): Simple, clear, and great for a high-end auction site. It’s a solid pick.
- trillion.fit (3 Trash Cans): Ambitious and quirky. Could work for a fitness brand with big dreams. Not amazing, but decent.
The Bad
- billiongpts.com (4 Trash Cans): Forcing “billion” and “GPTs” together is like mashing two buzzwords in a blender. It’s awkward and unbrandable.
- billion.bio (3 Trash Cans): “Bio” could mean anything—biology? Biography? Paired with “billion,” it’s a vague mess.
The Ugly
- zillionagents.com (5 Trash Cans): “Zillion” isn’t even a real number! This is the domain equivalent of a fake Rolex—flashy but worthless.
Roast Verdict: These domains are mostly hype with little substance. billion.auction stands out, but the rest are overblown and underwhelming. Don’t fall for the big-number bait.
Industry-Specific Domains: Some Winners, Mostly Losers
Brands targets industries like real estate, finance, and hospitality with these domains. Let’s see if they hit the mark.
The Good
- architects.directory (2 Trash Cans): Straightforward and useful for a directory of architects. It’s not flashy, but it works.
- bikebays.com (2 Trash Cans): Clear and catchy. Perfect for bike storage or rentals. A strong niche play.
- farmlands.app (2 Trash Cans): Simple and brandable. Ideal for a farming or real estate app.
The Bad
- solar.kitchen (4 Trash Cans): Solar-powered kitchens? It’s a niche too far. No one’s buying this.
- luxury.cafe (3 Trash Cans): Luxury and cafes don’t vibe. It’s like selling gold-plated coffee—confusing and off-brand.
The Ugly
- cheap.farm (5 Trash Cans): “Cheap” and “farm” together sound like a discount vegetable stand. It’s unappealing and cheap in all the wrong ways.
Roast Verdict: There are gems like architects.directory and farmlands.app, but many are too vague or too weird to justify the price. Pick wisely.
Unique/Creative Domains: Quirky or Just Cringe?
These are the wild cards—domains that aim to stand out with creativity. Some intrigue, others flop.
The Good
- 0rooms.com (2 Trash Cans): Mysterious and memorable. Could work for minimalist living or a clever startup. It’s a standout.
Marginal
- dub.onl (3 Trash Cans): Short and catchy, but the .onl TLD is a gamble. It’s got potential for a niche brand.
The Bad
- godifi.com (4 Trash Cans): “God” plus “WiFi”? It’s quirky, but who’s the audience—tech-savvy priests? Impractical.
- mrbeast.lol (4 Trash Cans): Riding MrBeast’s coattails is a trademark lawsuit waiting to happen. This one’s DOA.
The Ugly
- uglyyy.com (5 Trash Cans): Three “y”s? It’s not edgy—it’s a typo trap and a branding disaster. Straight to the trash.
Roast Verdict: Creativity can pay off, but most of these miss the mark. 0rooms.com is a winner, but the rest are either too odd or legally risky.
Conclusion: A Portfolio of Pipe Dreams with a Few Pearls
Brands’ “700+ Ultra Premium Names” portfolio is a classic case of overpromise and underdeliver. Sure, there are a handful of decent domains—like 1money.ai, agent.auction, architects.directory, and 0rooms.com—but the vast majority are forgettable, forced, or flat-out trash. The “liquidation” from $40,000 to $9,999 per name still feels like a rip-off for most of these.
For domain investors, the lesson is clear: focus on clarity, relevance, and brandability. Skip the typo-prone messes, obscure TLDs, and buzzword mashups. If you’re eyeing Brands’ portfolio, grab the few diamonds and leave the rest to rot in the digital junkyard.
Final Roast: Brands, your portfolio is like a thrift store clearance rack—mostly junk, with a few finds if you squint hard enough. “Ultra premium”? More like ultra delusional. Next time, let the domains do the talking instead of hyping them into oblivion.